Single cat dad comforts crying tabby in the aftermath of a relationship split, showing cats feel just as much as we do: 'How do I get her to understand it’s just me now?'

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Dec 21, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Breakups are the worst. Even if it's on your terms, even if you're been out of love with the person for a year or years, there's no pain and grief like that of a breakup. It's the dentanglement from someone else, the dissolution of a future prospect, and the release of a person being close to you.  The story below centers around a couple in the midst of their split. They were living together for 11 years, and of those 11 they had a few cats for 10 of the years. They just went through a breakup and decided to split the cats as well. The protagonist took his tabby, and the ex-girlfriend took all the other cats. Now in the aftermath of their sunder, the tabby is howling, meowing, and crying constantly. It's making the man feel terrible about himself, even though it's just a cat. 

Cats feel us, and they also don't like change and separations. The internet chimes in and reassures the cat dad that the cat misses the other cats as well, and it's not solely about preferring a human to another. 

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  • 01

    Cat is crying in the wee hours after relationship split. Is she sad? I’m not getting much sleep and it’s wrecking me

    Sad cat
    via Itana / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    After my ex wife and I split up after 11 years, 10 of which were with cats, she took the two eight
    via u/PolarCurious
  • 03
    year old cats and the three year old, while I kept the 12 year old tabby who likes me best.
    via u/PolarCurious
  • 04
    Tabby girl has never been as social with other cats as the others are, so we thought she would enjoy being an only cat.
    via u/PolarCurious
  • 05
    She has historically been very quiet and only meows when hungry or about to eat.
    via u/PolarCurious
  • 06
    I have been working a ton due to needing to make more money, but I am remote, so she does not
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  • 07
    lack attention. I only leave to go to the gym, one or two social events a week, and errands.
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  • 08
    But lately, this cat has been crying. Loudly. A lot. Any time from 4:30-7:00 am. I did shift her morning feeding later to just after
    via u/PolarCurious
  • 09
    I wake up at 7:30 (from around 6:45 when my ex used to feed the crew), but lots of meowing for multiple hours seems excessive.
    via u/PolarCurious
  • 10
    I set the thermostat quite low most of the time because I sleep hot and to save on costs, but she
    via u/PolarCurious
  • 11
    has a heated mat and doesn't seem too cold, so I don't think that's the reason either.
    via u/PolarCurious
  • 12
    Breakup
    via Marta Nogueira from Pexels / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    How do I get her to understand it's just me now, and stop the predawn crying? My ex made me feel incompetent a lot, so I feel
    via u/PolarCurious
  • 14
    like I am failing this cat and maybe I should just give her to someone better.
    via u/PolarCurious
  • 15
    QuietDetail7793 • 13h ago she probably does miss the other cats, they're very social animals. it could be that she
    via u/QuietDetail7793
  • 16
    wasn't as solitary as you thought. in general when cats are bonded it's kindest
    via u/QuietDetail7793
  • 17
    not to separate them, and especially not to leave one completely on their own.
    via u/QuietDetail7793
  • 18
    bakewelltart20 • 12h ago The majority of the household she's used to have suddenly vanished. It's going to take time for her to get used to just being with you.
    via u/bakewelltart20
  • 19
    zvbond0922 • 13h ago If you don't mind me asking, how long has it been since she's been separated from your ex/her old kitty friends?
    via u/zvbond0922
  • 20
    IMO it's very likely that she may just need time to get used to the separation (this happened with a relative of
    via u/zvbond0922
  • 21
    mine and his gf when they broke up). It sounds like you take good care of her and love her very much!
    via u/zvbond0922
  • 22
    Transition periods can be very hard with animals, and anxious ones sometimes handle it worse than others.
    via u/zvbond0922
  • 23
    I'm so sorry that this has begun to impact your physical/mental health though :(( I don't think
    via u/zvbond0922
  • 24
    you're doing anything wrong, but that your baby may just need a bit more time.
    via u/zvbond0922

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